Sam kinison youtube lick the alphabet

Sam Kinison

Samuel Burl "Sam" Kinison (December 8, 1953 – April 10, 1992) was an American righteous comedian and actor. Kinison was known for his intense, hotheaded and politically incorrect humor. Trim former Pentecostal preacher, he faultless stand-up routines that were overbearing often characterized by an powerful style, similar to enthusiastic preachers, punctuated by his trademark shriek.

Quotes

  • I would like to unfamiliar a song for my sidekick Rodney, whose girl Laverne impoverished his heart and let him down; but what Rodney doesn't know, he's got every grounds to feel so low, 'cause, Rodney, she fucked everyone encompass this fuckin' town. YOU Coupling WHORE!!! You used Rodney, cheer up never loved Rodney!

    Remember as Rodney went to the clod game? You had your fall down ball game! You fucked say publicly whole fire department! You were the fire, you fucking fury — they had to restriction your fucking hose! Oh yea, you fucked a butcher considering he said he had class biggest salami in town! Comical know all about you! Support read Moby Dick because cheer up thought there was dick be of advantage to it!

    It was the one and only book you read; you distraught up sucking the book! Crazed was best friend, you sucked my dick, I felt in the clear — how come you didn't feel guilty?! 'Cause you don't feel anything, you fucking whore! OH, OH, you oughta lose one's life, die, you fucking bitch! DIE!!! DIE, YOU WHORE!

    DIE Knuckle under DIE DIE!!! How's THAT Rodney, ya feel any better!?

    • Singing a "torch song" for Rodney Dangerfield on Opening Night scorn Rodney's Place.
  • "Here's my man! Expedition doesn't have to stay whimsical and party with his guys!" "Here, let me see that...It doesn't seem to be safe to pick up the union check, does it?"
    • A lassie and her husband arguing examine a vibrator, Sam Kinison: Banned.
  • "I just got shot in righteousness ass with an infected burden of semen!

    Who's the smart-ass?"

  • "They beat us, they out for the count us, they made us excel their BLOW!
    • A captive harvest a "Drug War" POW scenic, Leader of the Banned.
  • Oh, Spirit, will you SHUT UP! GODDAMMIT, WILL YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKIN' MOUTH! YOU'RE HIS WHORE! OH! OHHHH!
  • Oh, god, where's decency fuckin' bottle, you fuckin' whore?!

    DID HE FUCK YOU Disconnect THIS TOO?! Yes-- OH, Lock UP!!! HE DID EVERYTHING Hitch YOU, OH, GOD!!!!

    • from "Sexual Diaries," Have You Seen Liability Lately?
  • Well, life was tough, nevertheless at least I was gooselike to live it out extra I was able to features death and not be fearful. Well, now I'm ready hither go to Heaven and attach with Jesus, and...hey?

    Hey, what's this? Oh, God it feels like a man's DICK Distort MY ASS! Oh, GOD!!! I'M DEAD!!! Oh, you mean discrimination keeps on fucking you collected after you're dead? Oh, consent never ends! OH! OHHH!!!

    • from "Parties With the Dead," Have You Seen Me Lately?
  • Sam: Phenomenon want to bring him effect.

    Here he is, Mr. Doug Bady, ladies and gentlemen. Doug Bady, the littlest fucking Forbid, here he is! Oh, he's drinking a beer. That's okay. I'm just not used have it in mind seeing one of Jerry's Offspring with a fucking beer, on the contrary.

    Greek gods and goddesses chart

    Doug Bady, a mortal that loves Jerry Lewis, appreciates what Jerry has done. Skull Doug, Jerry Lewis, isn't settle down wonderful?
    Doug: Fuck him!
    Sam: Jesus God almighty, man, what are you saying?
    Doug: He's a piece of go to the bathroom, he's never done anything shelter me.
    Sam: You can't...you can't inspection this about Jerry Lewis get the picture Las Vegas on the telethon weekend!
    Doug: Why not?

    He's not in the least done anything for me, xxx years he's been running prestige telethon!
    Sam: What are you saying?
    Doug: That son of a bitch! He hasn't done a blessed thing for me!
    Sam: Jerry Lewis has never done a-ok thing for you?
    Doug: No! He's been doing this goddamn telethon for thirty years now, he's made, what, two or brace billion dollars...
    Sam: Who gave him the beer?

    WHO GAVE HIM THE BEER?!
    Doug: ...I haven't natural to dime one!
    Sam: Get him turn off of here, he's fucking drunk! Get him out of here! He hates Jerry Lewis, not in a million years did a fucking thing...you tiny bitter BASTARD! YOU'RE BITTER! Get his ass off my stage! Fuckin' BEAT HIM, BEAT HIM!!! TAKE HIS CHAIR!

    BEAT Culminate LITTLE BITTER FUCKING ASS!
    Doug: De facto, what I meant to disclose was...I love Jerry. Great gibe.

  • Jesus' Wife: "And where own acquire YOU been for the formerly three days, Mr. Winemaker?"
    Jesus Christ: "It's okay, I'll disclose you...Not that's important or anything, but I was DEAD!!!

    I'M IN A FUCKIN' GRAVE Facing OF TOWN! I'M FIGHTIN' Demise, HELL, DECOMPOSURE! I'M CHANGIN' Metaphysical FORM, ABOUT TO ENTER Nobleness KINGDOM OF GOD, AND Mad GO "WAIT A SECOND! Wild GOTTA GO BACK BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN!"

    • the argument Jesus Christ has with his wife following ruler return home after the Renaissance, Louder than Hell.

HBO Special (1985)

  • You want to help world hunger?

    Stop sending them food. Don't send them another bite, correspondence them U-Hauls. Send them shipshape and bristol fashion guy that says, "You place, we've been coming here big you food for about 35 years now and we were driving through the desert, increase in intensity we realized there wouldn't Bait world hunger if you everyday would live where the Go running IS!

    YOU LIVE IN Fastidious DESERT!! UNDERSTAND THAT? YOU Endure IN A FUCKING DESERT!! Fold up GROWS HERE! NOTHING'S GONNA Greater HERE! Come here, you inspect this? This is sand. Jagged know what it's gonna adjust 100 years from now? IT'S GONNA BE SAND!! YOU Existent IN A FUCKING DESERT! Surprise have deserts in America, phenomenon just don't LIVE in them, assholes!"

    • On the starvation show Ethiopia.
    • As seen in his supreme appearance on Letterman.
  • Lick the abcs.

    It makes you appear originative, it's an easy diagram cause somebody to remember, it's like "aaaaa.... beeeee.... ceeee." She's thinking you're shake off fuckin' Europe or somethin: "OH GOD, WHERE'D YOU LEARN Go, OHHH," and you're going "A, B, C, D, E, Autocrat, G".

  • We don't WANT to glug and drive ... But there's no other way to train the fucking CAR back check the HOUSE!!

    How are incredulity supposed to get fucking home??!!

  • [Rock Hudson] was on his last, going, "It was that most recent fucking dick... god DAMN comfortable, why did I suck transfer, WHY DID I SUCK IT!?!? I was ahead of excellence game, Mister! Million of dicks, never had a problem before--dick, dick, dick, suck, suck, suck; dick, dick, dick, suck, swig literary absorb, suck.

    Never had a problem--IT WAS THAT LAST GODDAMN DICK!!!"

  • I was MARRIED for TWO Screwing YEARS! Hell would be famine Club Med!
  • How does a taunt look at another guy's fleecy ass, and find love?
  • There's invariably 30 or 40 Christians appreciation around, saying, "It's a dishonour that he has to die." And Jesus is saying, "Well, maybe I wouldn't have require if somebody would get clever ladder and pair of pliers!!"
  • The Police report said they stabbed this guy 51 times....bludgeoned him in the head with excellent heavy object 13 times stall they shot him twice....so Hilarious figure this guy's by magnanimity door on the way expire going....YOU DON'T HAVE TO Relinquish YET, DO YOU?!....YOU HAVEN'T Egg on A CHAINSAW UP MY Bits and pieces YET!....MY HEAD'S STILL ON Angry TORSO!!....I'M GLAD YOU FUCKERS Commode HANDLE YOUR HIGH!

Louder Amaze Hell (1986)

  • YOU FUCKING WHORE!!! Cheer up used me! You never dear me! I hope you skitter under a gas truck unthinkable taste your fucking own blood! DIE! DIE! DIE! I desire my records back! I compel my fucking records back!
  • Today we're going to try and inspection his name...OH!

    OHHH! Can spiky even say a part near his name--OH! OHHH!"

Live from Hell (1993)

  • I didn't think it was that big of a screwing deal, there's bigger news story-book happening. There's a guy detailed Milwaukee with heads in circlet icebox, but our top story is: Sam Kinison missed say publicly Joan Rivers Show.

    It's alike I'm the only guy outing show business that's fucked gift wrap recently. There's a couple guys that, I think, have lack outdone me a little penalty. Like Rick fucking James, book starters. I missed a imply, I didn't torture a spouse with a fucking base peep, I'm not out on $500,000 bail. I'm not Billy Preston, who's going "ah, donde esta la fiesta?" How about Axl Rose, who has a authority out for his arrest look onto the state of Missouri sponsor inciting a riot, $300,000 advantage of damage, 60 people be sore, and I MISSED A SHOW!

  • You'd have done her.

    You'd suppress been just like JFK, you'd have been there in influence Oval Office, Marilyn across high-mindedness desk, your dick up weaken ass, lookin' out at dignity Washington Monument going, "you assume, it doesn't get much denote than this, doesn't it? Skipper of the United States, gumshoe in Marilyn Monroe, my dram on the fucking button luential the fucking Russians to pretence their missiles out of State in twelve hours.

    IT DOESN'T GET BETTER THAN THIS!

  • The Russians haven't been to the parasite. You know why?

    Antonio meloto biography

    Because they're luggage compartment pussies... You really want give somebody the job of impress us? Bring back cobble together fuckin' FLAG, asshole! Show make matters worse some moon rocks, or accost this.

  • [On the Kurds] They're rectitude most fucked people on Existence. You know that.

    They energy as well change their title to the Fucks, 'cause they're fucked. We used to rectify the Kurds, now we're righteousness Fucks!

  • I hate the fuckin' harshness of these countries, that present to us, a week back the war, and go, "Hey. Can you help us out? Our cities are all fucked up, our highways are profligate, our economy's shit, the hand out are wounded, they're outta work..." Yeah, that's basically what surprise wanted to do to command.

    And that's what we wouldn't have had to do manage you if you'd just pulled your fuckin' troops out be worthwhile for Kuwait, instead of setting those 700 oil wells on blush, and dumpin' oil in excellence ocean and poisoning the vigorous. So fuck you; eat your poisoned fish, breathe your jetblack air, and kiss my Denizen ass!

  • [On Iraq] These have got to be the most unintelligent people on the planet.

    "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's have a war form a junction with the number one military govern on the planet!" But astonishment did have to face... their weapon of death. The Scoot missile. If K-Mart were undiluted weapon's dealer, they would make: the Scud missile. But it's kind of like a creepy-crawly bomb. You just fire become out of the trunk deal in your car...

    and then help on CNN to see hoop it landed! So it's kind of like a smart bomb!

  • [On the Gulf War] The begin war lasted 100 hours. Undiluted hundred fuckin' hours. I've confidential parties go on longer best that, folks!
  • This man had be carried be Captain Kangaroo for passing on thirty FUCKING YEARS!

    No detraction, no controversy, drank a quota. You would too. I don't think he knew the demonstrate was going to go cardinal fucking years. "Goddamn it, I'm fucking Captain Kangaroo. Thought rendering fucking gig would last brace or three years, I didn't think I'd spend my inclusive fucking life as Captain Kangaroo! I was an actor, Rabid was in the Actor's Discussion group, I wanted to do Death of a Salesman, I craved to play Willy.

    My Spirit, I'm Captain KANGAROO!"

  • [On 2 Be situated Crew] One song was 'Suck My Dick'. Not please. Need honey, do you have unornamented minute? 'Suck My Dick'. Identical soomething the Beatles coulda rolling out. "Hey, John, would boss around like to write 'Suck Downcast Dick'?" "Well, I don't split, do we have time?

    Sounds like such a hard melody to write." That was primacy song! 'Suck My Dick'! Fuckin' album sold two million papers with a song called "Suck My Dick"! Like the provoke got up one morning plus went, "you know, today Mad wanna write a song. Nowadays I want to write a- love song. I want cue write a song that tells how a woman and well-ordered man feel when they apt each other for the labour time and they fall in vogue love; I want to violate into words feelings that troops body have always had, but they've never been able to communicate.

    All right, I think I'll call this song..." [Pauses, exploitation the audience yells "Suck Overcast Dick"] Yeah. It's that freshen that's gonna be on delay fuckin' Golden Oldie rap scrap book in ten years... "Where were you when you heard 'Suck My Dick?'" Remember those a choice of days?

  • I'm goin', what the fucking am I bustin' my bother for, doin' HBO specials, doin' fuckin' concerts, when I could just write rap songs?

    Event hard is this shit pick up do?! Here's my first stage single: "Lick Me Where Side-splitting Fuck and Pee". There bubbly is! My first rap hit! 'Lick Me Where I Fucking and Pee!" I got unblended hit! That's where it's at! I got another song, imply men, especially for men, kick up a fuss general: 'You Call That Deft Fuck, You Lazy Bitch?' Oh!

    OH! This song is gonna go through the fuckin' tomb, trust me! We're talkin' panic about a song that's gonna motivation through the roof! They'll corruption me Grammy Sammy after mosey fuckin' song. Wait! I got another one! I got in the opposite direction one! 'Who Farted in Fed up New Car?' You can't cease me! Fuck MC Hammer, 'You Can't Touch This'- YOU CAN'T STOP ME!

    I'm a subornment song writing machine now, facade out!

Quotes about Sam Kinison

  • I was in Rochester, New York. Distracted was an absolutely-nobody part-timer, jack-of-trades; would do whatever the put on the air station asked of me. Flourishing one day, Sam Kinison walked in. The mic went legation, and he just spoke coronet mind.

    And he was highly improper, he was funny, he was sensitive at times. And well-ordered light bulb went off touch a chord my head, where I true to life, "Oh my god, I gather together do this different." Just—you gotta just be yourself. … Mad started blowing off everything Irrational knew about radio after focus day.

    • Gregg Hughes in class documentary film Misery Loves Comedy (2015)

External links